Day 11 - 23 Weeks and 1 Day

Praise God for another day! Yesterday, Monday, was a very interesting day. Erin and I woke up very early at around 6:00 so we could be at the doctors office in Las Colinas by 8:00. This is the doc that was so robotic when he asked if we wanted to "continue this pregnancy". I guarantee you he was surprised to see us that morning. He didn't think the baby would make it to Monday is my guess. We were expecting him to tell us that basically everything looked the same and therefore Erin should be admitted to the hospital. Well, he said one of those things. He said everything looked the same. We were hoping with Erin drinking tons of water and laying around doing absolutely nothing, that her amniotic fluid would have increased. Not at all. It's clear that there is nothing that Erin or anyone can do to help our little girl out. It's all in God's hands, as it always has been.

So the doc says, nothing has changed and looks at us like what are you doing here. He completely forgot that he had said he would have Erin admitted to a hosptial if she made it to Monday. Erin told him that she would like to be admitted, so he tried to find a doctor that would take her this early. Guess what? He found a doctor. Want to know his name? Doctor Howard. No kidding. You can't tell me that God doesn't have a sense of humor.

We headed over to Harris Methodist in downtown Ft. Worth to meet doc Howard. He was very nice and we liked him a lot. He was very honest with us. Sometimes, honesty is tough to hear. He told Erin that there was no benefit at being in the hospital until she was 23.5 to 24 weeks along. He said they can't do anything for the baby until that point and asked Erin if she wanted to stay or go home. As much as I wanted Erin home, I knew she was wanting to be admitted. She was visably more comfortable in the hospital than at home. I'm thankful that God openened up a room for her. I got her settled, said a very hard goodbye and went to work.

I came home that day and my mom and kids were waiting for me. Very weird to come home to my mom instead of Erin. My mom had done a great job with the kids and the house. It was GREAT to come home and not have anything to do. It was so nice. My mom has been a true God blessing. Without her being here... well, I just don't know how we would have gotten by.

This morning, Tuesday, a good friend of ours from chuch Jennifer, came by to pick up the kids to take them to see Erin at the hospital. How great is that? There is just no way I could go to work, come home get the kids, go back to the hospital and then come back home. There's just not enough time in the day. Luckily, we have friends like Jennifer that are so selfless to help us out. We also were given dinner from our wonderful friends Brett & Tracy. Unreal. What do people without a church family do it times of crisis? I'm so thankful for everyone in our lives. It's so humbling to have so many people willing to help us out.

After the kids visited Erin, I called her to see how things were. She had a great visit with the kids, but a not so great visit with the doctor in charge of the nursery. Late Monday night this doctor visited Erin to discuss her "options". He asked her what she wanted to do if the baby was born today. As in, do we want them to try and save the baby's life or let her die. He said if the baby were born now, she would have a very low chance of survival. He also said that if the baby were born now, she could have serious mental and/or physical problems. Erin was extremely upset. Obviously. Hearing the news, so was I. Of course we told him to do anything possible to save the baby. How could we live with ourselves otherwise? Father, no matter what happens, please don't make this baby suffer in any way. Please bless her with good health both mentally and physically.

The one piece of good news the doctor gave Erin was that if the baby makes it to Sunday, she has a much better chance of surviving. If she makes it to Sunday, she can get steroids and care to help develop her lungs and other important things. Please pray for the baby to make it to Sunday. This would be a huge milestone! I believe it will happen! I truly do! God is working a miracle here I just know it. I can feel it. I have this peace that I can't explain. Through all this doom and gloom and bad news, I still feel at peace. I know that God is answering our prayers by giving Erin and I strength and peace.

So, that's where we stand now. Anxiously counting the days until Sunday. Praying for the baby to stay in there for many days to come. Praying for Erin to stay strong through this. For my kids to stay strong through this. For me to stay strong through this. Please pray with me...