Today is Sydney's 1 week birthday! Thank you Lord for this week! If you would have asked me if I thought she would be here with us today exactly one week ago, I doubt I would have said yes. I am amazed at God's grace and love everyday. She is still here with us! She does however have some hurdles to overcome.
We have visited Sydney everyday since Erin left the hospital last Thursday. It's hard. The nurses discourage us to even touch her hand because they say that she needs as little stimulation as possible. That goes against every parental instinct Erin and I have!! There is my beautiful baby girl laying in this....incubator.... and she needs me! She needs my help. She needs me to take care of her. But, I can't. I can't do anything for her. Not being in control is something that is very hard for me. When things are out of my control I tend to get very nervous and anxious. Those of you that know me well understand this. Maybe God is using this to get me to learn to give everything up to Him. I don't know. If that's the case, Sydney is sure having to pay for her old man not getting it all this time.
Our visits are very short but very meaningful. There just isn't anything we can do for her and it's frustrating. A friend of mine that was in this situation once before, mentioned to me that you have to trust a bunch of different doctors and nurses to take care of your baby. That is so true. Almost everyday we speak to someone new about Sydney's progress. In fact, I had an interesting conversation with the doctor that Erin had previously visited with in the hospital before Sydney was born. This was the doctor that told her if it was his baby, he would not attempt to save her because the chances of survival at Sydney's age were so low. Because of how "remarkably well" Sydney is doing (those are his words), I think Sydney is really touching his heart. Maybe God is using Sydney to turn this doctor to Him.
As I said, Sydney is doing great, but she has some hurdles to overcome. The doctors told us on Friday that Sydney had a problem. Without getting into the specifics and science of everything, basically Syd has a duct underneath her heart that isn't closing. With term babies, the duct closes very shortly after they are born. But, with preemies this duct often has problems closing on it's own. They started Sydney on medicine for this problem Friday and immediately stopped her feedings. If I haven't mentioned this, Sydney has begun to "eat" a little bit. When I say "eat" I mean they are pumping 1 milliliter of breast milk into her tiny stomach every 4 hours. But hey, it's progress!! She even has had a few wet diapers. She has already finished taking the medicine. Prayerfully, the meds will close the duct. If it doesn't, they will probably try one more round of medicine. If that doesn't work, unfortunately surgery is the next and final option. Although the procedure is fairly simple, at her age and size we obviously would be very concerned about surgery. They are doing another echo cardiogram tomorrow to see if the hole has closed or gotten smaller. Please pray with us that God heals this hole and Sydney will get back on track.
That is our most recent hurdle to jump. They are also doing another sonogram on Sydney's brain tomorrow to determine if she's had any bleeding in the brain. Her first one, done only 2 days after her birth, came back negative for any bleeds. The doctor did say that there is a chance that the bleed won't show up until a week has past. Please pray with us that the sono will show no bleeds in Sydney's brain.
We should get the results of the echo cardiogram and the brain sonogram either tomorrow or Tuesday. Despite these two HUGE tests looming that will definitely effect Sydney's health and treatment, I feel inexplicably calm. I've often prayed for the peace that "transcends all understanding" that Paul talks about in Philippians 4:6-7, and I've never really felt like I've gotten to that point. Not peace that literally CAN'T BE EXPLAINED! Well, I'm there now, and I can't explain it...
I also have to tell you this God moment I just had. I was pretty sure I knew that Philippians verse above just now, but I wanted to double check. So, I just went to bible.com to confirm. Take a guess what the "verse of the day" is on that sight today.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7.
Isn't that amazing?! If you are reading this on 8/30, go to bible.com and see for yourself. Unreal!!
Thank you God for your miracles! Thank you for your miracle that you made in Sydney! What an amazing and awesome God we serve!
Maybe God is using Sydney? There's no MAYBE about it...